Feminism at its Simplest: A Quick Rebuttal to Anti-Feminist Arguments

Let's strip the definition of Feminism down to its bare bones: feminism stands for the political, social, and economic equality of men and women. It's a simple definition, right? So why is there all the uproar, all the negative connotations, all the opposition? As with any religion, feminism seems to have acquired a bad reputation through radical feminists, misinterpretation of what feminism actually stands for, and overall negativity. This is the first of many of my attempts to tackle the misconceptions society seems to have about the feminist movement.

First and foremost, feminists do not hate men, nor are we trying to "bring men down." What we're trying to do is get rid of the gap that seems to exist between a male's place in society and a woman's. The aim of feminism is to stop telling women that their "place is in the home," but at the same time, that it's not shameful if they do decide to stay at home. Feminism strives to provide a choice to women. The stay- at- home mom deserves just as much respect and accolades as the mother who chooses to pursue a career as well. Feminism also tries to point out that women are just as capable of assuming executive positions and other positions of power in the corporate and STEM world. Not that men are undeserving- rather, that women are just as deserving of these positions.  There are women out there who hate men, which is known as misandry. Please do not get this mixed up with feminism. Hating the opposite sex is not something that is in the feminist agenda. That being said, calling men out on the harassment that seems to have become the norm in this society is not misandry. It's high time society knows that's not okay.

A Calvin Klein Underwear Ad (taken from Google Images)

I've often heard the argument of "if feminism really stands for the equality of the sexes, why not call yourself an egalitarian instead of a feminist?" Or, "Why doesn't feminism help men, too? Men are objectified and oppressed in America as well." Yes, men are often displayed as sexual objects in advertisements and other media outlets as well. And yes, that's wrong too. The difference here lies in the depth of the objectification. Let's take the ever popular Clavin Klein underwear ads. A man with artfully mussed/gelled hair and sculpted arms, pecs, and abs is essentially naked except for the underwear (obviously). Does it hold men to an unrealistic standard? Of course, male models are airbrushed to the same extent that female models are. Of course women walk past it and think to themselves something along the lines of, "wow, that model's hot." However, no one says that any man who poses for an ad like that "lacks self respect." On the contrary, many young girls are told that lingerie models have no respect for themselves. Furthermore, in most cases, men have the luxury of society still taking them seriously no matter how ridiculous these ads are. The fact that men are more respected in society is not right. Women, on the other hand, are often hyper-sexualized in advertising as an angle to sell products. Plenty of advertising also only encourages violence against and stereotyping of women, but that's for another blog post. There's one other crucial fact that should be taken into account: in most cases, the hyper sexualization of men in advertising happens when the company is selling items pertaining to men (like underwear). However, the advertising world is full of terribly sexist and objectifying ads towards women in more instances than just lingerie.

Feminism does strive to end gender stereotypes and traditional roles- for both men and women. This means that telling boys to "man up," "grow a pair," or "stop crying, don't be a pussy" needs to go. Staunching the ability of boys to find an outlet for frustration, anger, stress, etc needs to go. There is nothing shameful about a boy who write poetry or a boy who cries. That being said, the stereotype that only boys are good at math and science, or that only boys can become doctors and engineers needs to go. "Hey, you run like a girl" shouldn't be an insult, because I can tell you that some of the fastest runners I know are girls. So, yes, feminism does try to "help men too." The problem is that society has stamped on women so much that a women-centered movement to force society to pay attention to these flaws is necessary - which says something in itself.

The last counter-argument I'm going to tackle is one that tends to make me the angriest: feminism promotes the victim mindset. Au contraire- feminism seeks to empower women, and victims of rape, abuse, etc. We live in a society permeated by victim-blaming and slut-shaming (though this, also, is a topic for another blog post). The horrifically ineffective and often traumatizing ways colleges handle rape cases is proof enough of that fact. Even in the media, when a rapist is found guilty and given a prison sentence, the media mourns the loss of the boy's football career, or job, or comments on what the girl was wearing, how drunk she was, whether or not she was walking alone at night. The media humanizes the rapist rather than trying to lift up the victim. We, as women, need to band together and say "enough is enough" when it comes to rape, especially in terms of college rapes and how colleges handle it. Feminism strives to provide a sisterhood of empowerment, though not one of estrangement to men.

I hope this makes you think twice before you mistake feminism for misandry, make any negative comments about it, or believe a misinterpretation of the feminist agenda. If someone is using feminism as a vessel for misandry or any other negative purpose, then they're not really feminists. I'm sure I'll be met with a lot of dissent, but know there will be plenty of other blog posts in the future elaborating on many of the points I've made here.

~Simran

In 30 Words

Hello everyone!

I've just returned from my school's writer's slam, so even though I promised a continued post about my encounter with the incarcerated, I'm in the writing mindset so I thought I'd do a quick post on that topic instead. If you haven't done so yet, you should most definitely participate in a writer's slam or open mic night! The experience will vary depending on where you do it. At my school, you read any piece of original writing- music, short story, poem, play, etc- and then you receive positive feedback on it. Some performance venues are more Spoken Word oriented- that means performance poetry. If you can't get to one yourself, organize one at your school! There are always writers at your school, even if they don't make themselves known.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a little exercise that we all used to do in the Creative Writing Club at my old school. It's called In 30 Words, and it's pretty self explanatory. You pick any topic- time, love, a season, a holiday, a person, your pet- and you have to write about it in no more than exactly 30 words. And words like "the," "and," "a" etc count! It's a challenging but fun exercise that teaches you a lesson in brevity and getting your point across in as little words as possible. I'll post an example that I did a couple years ago. Give it a shot and feel free to share what you ended writing about!

~Simran

Chatting with the Incarcerated

This past Thursday, I went on a field trip to a medium security prison in Norfolk, the Massachusetts Correctional Institution- Norfolk. And boy, was it an experience. As dramatic as it sounds, I'd say it was pretty life-changing and eye opening. I went into it nervous and a little scared, but I came out of it pretty enlightened. We got to listen to inmates talk about their background, how they grew up, and how they committed the crime that landed them in prison, as well as what they learned from it. I'll take you through the day step by step.

First of all, there was a strict dress code to adhere to. Boys had to wear button down shirts that were tucked in and girls had to wear very conservative clothing. Loose jeans, and loose shirts that covered everything and could be tucked in. No jackets allowed, sweaters only allowed if they had no hoods. We went through security in groups of 5 or 6- one chaperone sat in the security room and the other waited outside with us. I don't know exactly how security went for the guys, but for the girls, here's what we had to do: Take off our shoes, that were then passed through a metal detector. There was a female officer for the girls and a male officer for the guys (obviously). We walked through the metal detector, and then we had to open our mouths so they could inspect it, turned out our front pockets, rolled over the waistband of our jeans (some girls had to unbutton their jeans to do this), stuck our hands in our back pockets to show that there was nothing in there, show the soles of our feet, and then we were allowed to put our shoes back on. We were then told to walk across the prison grounds alone to the visitors center- a rather scary prospect at the time, because had we made a wrong turn we would've ended up with the inmates.

Once at the visiting area, we spoke to four inmates who were part of a prison-run program called Project Youth, Incarcerated. The name of the program made sense, because many of the inmates had been arrested when they were only 15-18 years old and were serving 10-12 year sentences. We heard about where they came from, how they grew up, relationships with parents and siblings, as well as what led them to commit the crime that got them in prison and why they committed it. Mind you, this is a medium security prison. These are not child abusers, rapists, or murderers (in the sense of the murder being premeditated). These are people who fell in with the wrong crowd as a result of bullying or growing up in a rough neighborhood or being in the foster system, and either were drunk or high when they committed crimes. So these people were for armed robberies or on charge of manslaughter or something of the sort.

Their message was basically: at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you grew up or who you're surrounded with. It's still your choice. You made the bad choices, and you can't blame anyone or anything else for that but yourself. And they're right, they're absolutely right. You could tell these were prisoners who had thought long and hard about their past and truly reformed. Of course, they go through rigorous training to be allowed to do this, and it showed. They were very well spoken, sounded educated, and kept a cool head. As a result, we learned alot about prison life and inmates. We learned that violence does happen, just on a lesser scale and less often. We learned that the speakers and other people in the program make up a small demographic of the prison population- in reality, people in prison don't want to see others succeed. Not a lot of prisoners are as reformed as our speakers were, but they didn't care. Most of them only had 2 or 3 years left of their sentence, and they were ready to get out, go home, and never come back. There are also opportunities for inmates to work on the grounds or get a job in the prison, as well as take classes and continue an education. Some prisons, like this one, have a GED program for people who dropped out of high school. Like I said, it was pretty eye opening.

Whew! This was a long post. I'll break it up- next post I'll write about the specific stories, more on the takeaway message, and what social change I think can and should come about in our society after this visit.

~Simran

Unconventional Ballerinas

My last post was about ballet, so I thought I would follow it up by writing about a couple dancers who I find inspiring. These dancers are reshaping the stereotypical ballerina mold and proving to us that there is not just one type of dancer, but rather that the dancer has multiple embodiments and comes from anywhere and can do anything.

Picture taken from Dance Magazine.

Keenan Kampa: Kampa is a dancer and a model, currently in Russia, and among her crowning achievements is her status as the first American to dance in the prestigious, all-Russian Mariinsky Ballet. She is a person of incredible resilience, overcoming the odds of age, cultural differences, and multiple injuries. She discovered at the young age of 17 by Gennady Selyutsky, a Russian Ballet Master. He noticed her at a Masters Class at the Kennedy Center in D.C., and invited her to study with the Vaganova. She became the first American to graduate with a full Russian diploma in 2010- a major achievement in the world of dance. She spent two years with the Boston Ballet, and in 2012, she became the first American to dance in the Mariinsky Ballet. For Kampa, pursuing her passion hasn't been easy- she's been plagued by injuries and the cultural divide between American and Russia. Adjusting to dancing with the Mariinsky Ballet or at the Vaganova, which can be seen in the stern, disciplinarian instructors she has worked with. She experienced a lot of ridicule with both Ballets, only further proving her commitment to her passion when she refused to drop out. She also models in her spare time and is an ambassador for Lejeune foundation, an organization that funds research for Down Syndrome and other genetic disorders. You can follow her on twitter (@Neenakampa) and instagram (@bkeenie).

Copeland's feature in Teen Vogue.

Misty Copeland: Copeland is making history as well as the first black soloist at the American Ballet Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina. An exerpt was featured in the March 2014 issue of Teen Vogue. Her story is truly inspiring, as she's overcome racism and body-shaming to achieve her dreams. She even inspired Project Plié, a program run by the ABT aimed at diversifying ballet. She didn't begin her ballet training until age 13, and just 5 years later, at the incredibly young age of 18, she was dancing with ABT. She worked her way up from the Corps de Ballet, and she came from a background of poverty. She has excelled  in an art that has "long been the province of the white and wealthy," to quote her memoir. I've seen this statement spark many arguments, but ultimately, she is right. The amount of hours serious dancers put into their work makes them run through pointe shoes like a sick person runs through tissues, but they still can cost more than $50. Copeland came from a family that hardly had enough money for food, let alone enough money for travel or hobbies. As a member of the Corps, she was constantly judged by her fellow dancers and her teachers. Not only was she atypical in terms of her race, but her body type was different. She was only 5'2'' and 100 lbs- completely normal- but in ballet, her curves and full chest would not do and so she was told she had to "lengthen." This was ballet speak for "lose some weight or you lose your spot." She refused to listen to this pressure, however, and decided to "out-dance" everyone so that ABT would be forced to recognize her talent. She didn't starve herself, but she did step up to the game in a way that only the most mentally healthy can. She is truly inspiring, not just as a dancer but as a person as well. In a career where girls have to fit a certain mold, Misty refused to reshape herself and instead forced the mold to accept her.
Theatre in 20 years. She has memoir, titled

I hope these stories have encouraged you to never give up on your dreams or passions, whatever they may be. If Misty can start training at age 13 and end up dancing with such a prestigious company only 5 years later, and Keenan can overcome cultural divides to dance in world-renowned dance companies, you can give your passion a shot.

~Simran

A Magical Night at the Ballet

Last night I went to see Boston Ballet's production of Cinderella with two of my good friends. As can be expected, it was a magical, wonderful experience. The dancing, costumes, set and effects were beautiful. It reminded me of why I fell in love with Ballet and kept up with it, and why so many people every year flock to see performances such as this even though tickets are in no way cheap.

The version of Cinderella put on by the Boston Ballet this year differed slightly from the usual classic. Of course, it's a ballet, so it can only be so long (it only had 2 acts, and Act 1 had 2 scenes). There was no stepmother, but her stepsisters were very active in the ballet. Portrayed by Boyko Dossev and Yury Yanowsky, they were comical and hilarious. They clomp all over the place, while they are being fitted for the ball and at the ball itself. Watching them fight with each other- their silly dance routine complete with exaggerated pantomiming and acting- easily made them one half of the comic relief. The other half was the Court Jester, played by Avetik Karapetyan. His dances were extremely intricate combinations of leaps and twirls. The life of the ball, he handled a mishap in the Ballet perfectly when one of the shoes went flying into the pit! He was the life of the ball and the ballet. The Ballerina who danced the role of Cinderella, Misa Kuranga, was simply beautiful. She looked ethereal in her costume at the ball and her wedding to the Prince, and her solos were light, airy, graceful, and everything an aspiring ballerina would dream of dancing. Entirely en pointe, they were of course extremely difficult. The Fairy Godmother was portrayed by Petra Conti, and she as well as the Fairies of the Four Seasons and the Stars were just as beautiful. The entire ballet was magical, and I never wanted it to end.

You don't know how multifaceted ballet is until you see it performed. It requires incredible precision and puts a ridiculous amount of stress on the body. Balancing on pointe, doing sharp turns and high leaps requires hours of practice; and dancers like those of the Boston Ballet make it look so easy. At the same time, a dancer needs to remember the character he or she is portraying and never fall out of it. The dance itself tells only half the story- the other half is told depending on how the dancer moves through the steps. Pantomime and acting in general is a huge part of dance. Performing it is exhilarating and rewarding, but being a dancer- especially at the professional level- is incredibly physically and mentally taxing. It takes passion for the art and hard work, so before you say that ballet is easy and before you withold any dancer the accolades they deserve, watch them rehearse or perform. There is no form of storytelling more beautiful than dance.

~Simran

Early Spring Song Reviews!

Hello, readers! I've been meaning to do this for a while, and since my last couple of posts have been rather long tangents, I thought this would give all of you a nice break from my ramblings. I'll be talking about 3 songs that deserve a place on your playlist for a variety of reasons. They may not all be "new," but they're worth a listen.

1). Hey Brother by Avicii.
I really don't think there are many songs that are more heartfelt than this. He addresses a brother and a sister, but the lyrics could be applied to anyone. In the main chorus, he declares that "if the sky comes falling down, for you, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do." It's a classic song about always being there for your loved ones. And while the lyrics are incredibly sweet, it's not your typical sappy song. The music is upbeat enough to listen to on a jog or at the gym, or even on a long drive. The video is touching and heartbreaking and amazing, but it's up to interpretation. What do you guys think?

2). Counting Stars by OneRepublic.
OneRepublic has always been a favorite band of mine, and this song is definitely one of my favorites. The tune and the lyrics practically hypnotizing, and you can't help but sing along when you hear it. This is another one that's perfect for a nighttime drive down the highway. The music to this is pretty epic and upbeat as well. It takes a few listens to get the meaning of the lyrics, for those of you who pay attention to that (I know I do). I'll leave the interpretation of the song up to you guys, because it's definitely a mish-mash of things somehow connected. There's a mention of "no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars" and they also go on to talk about all these conflicts of theirs- right or wrong, old or young, and the fact that "everything that kills me, makes me feel alive." It's a heavy but amazing song. What do you guys think?

3). Glory and Gore by Lorde.
Yes, I know, we've heard a lot of her on the radio between Royals and now Team. But this is a song off of her album that hasn't made it as big as Team, but to me it's just as platinum-status worthy. Let's just take a minute to appreciate the ingeniousness that is Lorde and her songwriting, shall we? Listening to her is always such a refreshing experience, and this song is no different. Her lyrics are as always incredibly profound, with lines like "but in all chaos there is calculation," "we gladiate but I guess we're really fighting ourselves," "secretly you love this, do you even really wanna go free?" and basically the entire song. Like the previous song, what she's really singing about is open to interpretation. It could be war, it could be literally about gladiators, or even about violence and fights in general. For those of you who listen to songs to pay attention to lyrics, this is a great one for you. For those of you that prefer to just listen to the beat, this is still great. It's different from the other two songs in this blog post. The music is darker, but the beat is pretty amazing, so you won't be disappointed.

So, I hope I've given you some more refreshing additions to your various playlists. These songs are all really different from the usual, "mainstream" tunes typically played on the radio stations. Even if you don't fall in love with them, they're worth a listen.

~Simran :)

Celebrating Each Other's History and Preparing for the Future

Today at school was our annual Black History Month assembly. The point of this assembly is typically to celebrate the achievement of various historical African-American figures and the horrors they endured and overcame not only during slavery but also after emancipation, to finally gain equal rights and equal standing in society. But has it actually worked, and is the movement over now that we have a president who is part African? Has society really listened to the demands of not only African Americans, but other minorities as well?

Well, let's take a look at the assembly itself. Of course it covered everything stated above- major figures such as Zora Neale Hurston and Langston Hughes were talked about, performances of Harlem Renaissance poetry and music were exhibited, and discussions about the horrors in African-American past were discussed. At the very end, the controversial Trayvon Martin case was brought up, and people discussed that racial profiling and racism in general was still very much alive, what it meant for them, and why they were proud to be black. And yet, throughout not just that part of the assembly but the whole thing, all I heard were mutters like "I don't care," "Is this over yet?" "why is this necessary" and saw things like people rolling their eyes.

I think these reactions are enough of an answer. Much of today's youth does not understand why it is important to celebrate the achievements of not just this race, but so many others. Can their be improvements to assemblies such as this, or how the achievements are celebrated? Of course. But that doesn't mean we refuse to give these people the respect they are demanding.

I have found that many people are somehow even more resistant to the idea of America as a true "melting pot." This is apparent simply in the fact that the majority of people in impoverished neighborhoods are largely people of different races and ethnicities, or from foreign countries. When did the idea that foreigners were invading American and "taking all the spots in the top universities" come up? There is a lesson to be learned from that- educationally, the rest of the world is a head, and instead of complaining and blaming these foreigners or even Americans that belong to these races, we need to take a lesson out of that. The Chinese or Indian student deserves a place at Harvard, MIT, Swarthmore, Yale, etc just as much as the next American. And if they are filling up the spots, it only means that they are more prepared and have better credentials. Why does society punish them for that rather than striving to improve their own students to make them better competitors? The very culture of America is an amalgam of different aspects of the different cultures of immigrants over the years.

Let's return to the example of the impoverished neighborhood. Compare to that a town like the one I come from- full of well-educated, hardworking, and many wealthy families. But let's look at the diversity in this town- at the risk of striking a nerve, I'm going to say there is not alot. But why is that? Why aren't there more "black" people, or Indians, Middle Easterns, or Hispanics distributed among the well-educated "white" families? They exist for sure, but at an alarmingly low rate. Understood, it's expensive to live in a town like mine. But that fact only illustrates my point- there need to be more people than just "whites" earning higher degrees and thus affording to live in "expensive" towns like mine.

Nina Davuluri, Miss America 2013, performing at the pageant.

An example I like to use in cases such as these is the results of the previous year's Miss America pageant. An Indian girl, Nina Davuluri, won the crown in 2013's pageant. She overcame so many stereotypes and obstacles to take that crown. According to an interview with CNN, she "wanted to be the first Indian Miss America, to be that symbol of a new face for the organization... And to let younger girls know that regardless of race, their socioeconomic status, their religion that anyone can become not only Miss America, but anything." What better mission than that? Hasn't she proved that Miss America can be anyone? She was just as entitled to the crown as anyone else of lighter or darker skin. And yet, viewers are enraged. Some examples of tweets: "and the Arab wins Miss America. Classic." "This is America. not India." "Egypt dancing? this is America." Words cannot express the rage this stirred up in me. This girl is Indian-American. She is an American citizen, born and raised here. Why does her race make her any less deserving of the title? The fact that for her talent she performed a Bollywood dance should only serve to emphasize the broad cultural talents America should present! There is no solid image of an American. The "white" girl is just as American as the African-American, the Indian-American, the Asian-American, etc. She is not "Arab" as many enraged viewers claimed her to be. And if she was, so what? Why is diversity no longer tolerated during a time when it should be? I, for one, would be extremely proud if a woman of Middle Eastern origin won the title of Miss America.

This leads me to my next point, racial profiling. It still exists. It is just as much a problem as ever, and as long as racial profiling exists, racism will manage to endure. Whether or not racial profiling serves a purpose is up for debate- there are many cases to argue the positive and the negative side. There will be more posts on this to come, because I'm sure this post of mine will spark many debates and arguments. But that's good- please do debate these issues. They need to be talked about and solved. The importance of other culture's past and present needs and deserves to be celebrated. It needs to be understood that there is no "typical American." There is no such thing as "this is American not India." How dare we belittle the diversity of our own country? Food for thought.

You can view the CNN article with videos of interviews talking about the pageant and people's reactions here.

~Simran